<i><b><font size="3">THIS IS A STORY ABOUT A COUPLE WHO HAD BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED FOR YEARS. <br><br>THE ONLY FRICTION IN THEIR MARRIAGE WAS THE HUSBAND'S HABIT OF FARTING<br>LOUDLY EVERY MORNING WHEN HE AWOKE. THE NOISE WOULD WAKE HIS WIFE AND<br>THE SMELL WOULD MAKE HER EYES WATER AND MAKE HER GASP FOR AIR. <br><br>EVERY MORNING SHE WOULD PLEAD WITH HIM TO STOP RIPPING THEM OFF BECAUSE<br>IT WAS MAKING HER SICK. HE TOLD HER HE COULDN'T.STOP IT AND THAT IT WAS<br>PERFECTLY NATURAL. SHE TOLD HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR, SHE WAS CONCERNED THAT<br>ONE DAY HE WOULD BLOW HIS GUTS OUT. <br><br>THE YEARS WENT BY AND HE CONTINUED TO RIP THEM OUT. THEN ONE<br>THANKSGIVING MORNING AS SHE WAS PREPARING THE TURKEY FOR DINNER AND HE<br>WAS UPSTAIRS SOUND ASLEEP, SHE LOOKED AT THE INNARDS AND NECK, GIZZARD,<br>LIVER AND ALL THE SPARE PARTS AND A MALICIOUS THOUGHT CAME TO HER. <br><br>SHE TOOK THE BOWL AND WENT UPSTAIRS WHERE HER HUSBAND WAS SOUND ASLEEP<br>AND, GENTLY PULLING THE BED COVERS BACK, SHE PULLED BACK THE ELASTIC<br>WAISTBAND OF HIS UNDERPANTS AND EMPTIED THE BOWL OF TURKEY GUTS INTO HIS<br>SHORTS <br><br>SOME TIME LATER SHE HEARD HER HUSBAND WAKEN WITH HIS USUAL TRUMPETING<br>WHICH WAS FOLLOWED BY A BLOOD CURDLING SCREAM AND THE SOUND OF FRANTIC<br>FOOT STEPS AS HE RAN INTO THE BATHROOM. THE WIFE COULD HARDLY CONTROL<br>HERSELF AS SHE ROLLED ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING, TEARS IN HER EYES! AFTER<br>YEARS OF TORTURE SHE RECKONED SHE HAD GOT HIM BACK PRETTY GOOD.. <br><br>ABOUT TWENTY MINUTES LATER, HER HUSBAND CAME DOWSTAIRS IN HIS<br>BLOODSTAINED UNDERPANTS WITH A LOOK OF HORROR ON HIS FACE. SHE BIT HER<br>LIP AS SHE ASKED HIM WHAT WAS THE MATTER. <br><br>HE SAID, 'HONEY YOU WERE RIGHT.' 'ALL THESE YEARS YOU HAVE WARNED ME AND<br>I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU'. <br><br>'WHAT DO YOU MEAN?'<br>ASKED HIS WIFE. <br><br>'WELL, YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME THAT ONE DAY I WOULD END UP FARTING MY GUTS<br>OUT, AND TODAY IT FINALLY HAPPENED.' <br><br>BUT BY THE GRACE OF GOD, SOME VASELINE AND TWO FINGERS. I THINK I GOT<br>MOST OF THEM BACK IN.'</font></b></i>
